Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Frustration by Yasmin (Personal Recount)

Netball… could it really be that hard I thought at half time. All the time when I try to shoot a goal I jump twist and bounce, but I can never get a goal! I feel all fuzzy inside when somebody passes the silky silver smooth ball to me, and feel even fuzzier when I think I’m going to drop it! (But normally I don’t drop it.)

Wizz I tumble over the grey seat. Suddenly my good gorges coach says to me “come on second half is on.” So as her saying that droop my tired drowsy legs onto the stiff concrete court somebody in my team threw the perfectly round shaped ball at me… waking my half asleep drowsiness! I quickly throw the silver smooth silky ball into the fog, into my surprise it sounds like the hoop is calling the ball, and guess what… it went into the goal!!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is great!!!
maybe next time you can use a bit more simles
crystal

Anonymous said...

What an awesome goal! one part in the text didn't make sense though
but an awesome story!
Skyler

Chris Bradbeer said...

Great goal Yasmin!
I really like the way you have started to use paragraphs. It really helps people when they read your work. Just take care with your spelling (gorges?)

I am already looking forward to your next piece of writing.

Mr B