Eruption by Aimee. (Personal Recount)
The light flashed green several times. We all slowly creped inside the tiny batch house wondering what it was doing in the middle of the Volcano exhibit. Suddenly the large television automatically switched on, our eyes stuck to the screen. A news reporter and a Scientist were explaining about smoke coming out of Rangitoto’s volcano and saying the possibilities of it exploding were minor. Then the cameras switched over to people evacuating their homes and lining up with all the traffic surging over the motorway. Just at that moment the television disconnected, the lights flickered and faded out then somehow the house shock violently back and forth, the over head projector showed Rangitoto spitting out lava rocks and it also showed the aftermath. When it finished the lights came back on so we continued through the Museum.
10 comments:
Well done Aimee, I liked the way you wrote your feelings into the story. Maybe you could of used a thesaurus to get more interesting adjectives.
Sam
Great writing Aimee,
You have used some awesome vocabulary like disconnected, violently and aftermath.
Maybe a next learning step could be to use paragraphs.
Mr B
well done aimee you really hooked me in! i'd like to go to that volcano place in the museum.
Awesome!
Skyler
Well done Aimee. Your recount made me remember our visit to Te Papa a few years ago.
I am looking forward to reading more of Room 11's blogs.
Mrs Cope
very good Aimee i liked the way that you started at the moment it hooked me straight away.
Jamez
Good job Aimee. I will like to hear another story by you.
Bethany
well done Aimee!!!
you have got some really good powerful words but you can work on paragraphs.
your friend Crystal
good work aimee
next step maybe could be paragraphs.
daisy
I love Eruption by Aimee, it is a wonderful, realistic and descriptive piece of writing.
Love from Mum/Anna
EUPTION!!!scary aimee, you realy folowed the sucess criteria!
i liked the way you sterted at the moment!
great job keep it up!!!
yours Tayla Karam!!!
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