It was 1642, summertime, when the Europeans landed in there grand four mast galleons, they claimed the land there’s, but it was the horrible mistake, for the Maori folk owned the land when they discovered it 93 years ago but a child called Pakuera saw the Maori enemy and came to the village and warned everybody , nobody listened, ten minutes later they heard voices this could only mean one thing, battle.
Finally prepared for battle the war chiefs did a haka and sharpened there Tiaha and ran through the forest that they called home, shook there Tiaha and ran on to an unnamed beach, and took the attack side of the battle and after 3 bloody years the Maoris had overwhelmed the Europeans and the Europeans left battle worn galleon to tell the world how army bay got its name and that the Maoris should not be messed with.
Hi Emily!!!!
16 years ago
5 comments:
I really liked how you used fatual language. It sounded like a real news paper report
lauren
The title made me think cool I never new about that I'll have to read it and so i did and found out all about it - thank you
Connor Rm 9
It was really good I thougth that it was interesting.
Riddhi
I think this is quite cool, Conner.
You must of thought about it quite a lot.
Bad: You only put full stops at the end of the paragraph. It looks like one big sentence.
-Neil
I can hook my audience by starting at the moment.
yes conner you really have done well at this.
I can sequence ideas and organise them into paragraphs.
i think you could have used more paragraphs.
I can use a dictionary to correct mis-spelt words.
really well done on this too
well done conner you have really done a great job just try to put more paragraphs.
Your friend Alex :0)
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