Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Great Girls Grab Gold by Neil (Newspaper Report)


It was a great day for New Zealand today, as Caroline and Georgina Ever-Swindell grabbed gold through a incredibly close photo finish.

For the first 500 meters the terrific twins weren’t doing so well, coming last up to the 500m mark. The next 500 meters got a bit better, cruising past most of the boats including champions China, but not the leaders Germany who lead for most of the race. The next 500 meters was a sort of a neck-to-neck race between the German and Kiwi crews.

The finish was a spectacular event as Germany and New Zealand arrived at the finish almost together, with Great Britain arriving as a definite third. It then went into a photo finish with New Zealand grabbing the gold with 1 millisecond to spare.

After the race the exhausted twins said “We didn’t know who won but as soon as we heard the word ‘new’ we knew we were Olympic Champions”

-N.Z.H (Neil Zealand Herald)
Thanks to the I.O.C (InternatioNeil Olympic Committee)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can write a suitable title that will engage readers.
I think you have done that.It's a great way you used alliteration

I can hook my audience by starting at the moment.
I kind of think you did well.Try and hook more people in first.

I can sequence ideas and organise them into paragraphs.
I think you have passed that.You have put it into paragraphs great.

Next LG: Say were it is and what they are doing.

From Bethany

Anonymous said...

I think the title hooked me in, but you can improve on trying to make the report have direct speech.
You did make sure you hooked the audience in.

Caitlin romm 9